Rediscovering yourself because it's never too late
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When was the last time you saw one of your friends doing really well in life and convinced yourself that they were just lucky? That they have all the support they need, and that's why they can go out and chase their dreams.
And then you silently look back at your own life. You have endless responsibilities—your children, your husband, your work, your parents/in-laws, your plants, your maids... and the list just goes on.
I know this feeling because I've lived it. I kept telling myself, "I'll pursue my passion once my current project is over." But before I knew it, I had taken up something even more challenging and stressful. Then I thought, "I'll chase my dreams once my daughter grows up and becomes independent." But life had other plans, and I was blessed with twin babies.
Life doesn't wait for you to catch up on your dreams. We have to carve out time for ourselves. Yes, I realized it much later that the project you put your blood, sweat, and soul into becomes just another assignment that you and others have done and dusted. No one even remembers it. But what you lose along the way is your dream, the one you kept postponing for so long that it eventually takes a back seat, and your belief turns into a limiting belief that restricts your growth. Not only that, you develop a habit of conveniently putting whatever is good for you on the back burner.
And if you have been postponing your passion for your children, please know that they are watching. When you show them that, come what may, you continue to learn, grow, and chase your dreams, pursuing one's dreams stops being an option but it becomes a second nature to them. When you follow your passion, it gives you renewed confidence, satisfaction, and a sense of self-worth, which naturally reflects in your family and your loved ones.
Limiting beliefs can be changed through positive affirmations. Keep reminding yourself how important your dreams are to you. Journal these thoughts regularly. Allocate dedicated time in your daily schedule. Invest your time, money, and effort in pursuing your dreams. Learn the skills required, stay focused, and conduct regular self-audits. Identify where you are spending too much time on insignificant tasks, and redirect some of that time towards your dreams. Dedicate a space where you can work on your goals without distractions.
Write a letter to your future self, imagining the life you will lead after working hard and achieving your dreams.
Imagine that you have already achieved your dreams, and write a letter to thank your present self for making the time and putting in the effort to become the person you are in the future.
Identify your fears and become so familiar with them that they no longer feel like fears. Stay present instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, because in the present moment, there is no fear. Paint a positive picture of yourself and believe in the person you are becoming.
Practice fear exposure therapy. Take a risk, face your fear, and repeat it as many times as necessary, gradually increasing the level of challenge until the fear disappears. This builds confidence, and what once felt like fear becomes a source of empowerment rather than failure.
Remind yourself of the fears you have overcome in the past, and associate those experiences with the success you achieved. We often associate fear with failure, but if you have an example where fear led you to prepare better and ultimately succeed, use that as a reference whenever you face a new fear.
For example, you may have feared writing an important exam, but because of that fear, you prepared so well that you passed with excellent marks. Or perhaps you feared public speaking, but you practiced so thoroughly that you delivered a memorable speech. Let these past victories remind you that fear can be transformed into growth and success.
Today, I may still be on my journey, but I no longer wait for the perfect time. I make time. Whether it's preparing for a pageant, building my children's clothing brand, or learning something new, I have realized that every small step brings me closer to the life I once only dreamed about.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is this that dreams don't have an expiry date. They only need someone who is willing to believe in them again.
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